I Know the Feeling of Alone
by EmpressMiakaYuuki
Summary: This is a song fic written, regarding Nuriko understanding Hotohori's loneliness.


# I Know the Feeling of Alone

~Disclaimer: I do not own Nuriko nor Hotohori (damn…ponders about paying Yuu Watase for Hotohori's copyrights), and I couldn't find the song's title, but it's the 9th track on the City of Angels soundtrack.~ 

***

You've got such a pretty smile.

It's a shame the things you hide behind it. 

From a distance, what appeared to be a beautiful young woman, a Suzaku seishi stared at a lonely man. He was leaning on the maroon railing a few steps from his balcony door. He sighed, as he gazed into the sunset, daydreaming some fantasy of a girl, Suzaku no Miko. 

Let 'em go, give it up for a while.

Let 'em free and we will both go find it. 

_He turned around, stopping short of Nuriko who had snuck up behind him, eyes widening. _

_"Nuriko…what are you doing here?" the young emperor questioned having his peace disturbed so suddenly. The purple haired seishi looked into his golden eyes thoughtfully and replied,_

_"I saw that you were lonely…I figured maybe you wanted to talk to someone." The seishi then turned and looked away, remembering his sister, while thinking, _I know exactly what he's going through…I wish he would open up to me…__

_A slightly startled Nuriko turned once again, feeling the emperor's hand on his shoulder. It saddened him to see such pain in such beautiful eyes. Hotohori whispered,_

_"Thanks…Nuriko." The seishi smiled. _

I know there's nowhere you can hide it.

I know the feeling of alone. 

I know that you do not feel invited. 

But come back; come back in from the cold.

_"Tell me what's bothering you, your majesty." Nuriko said, while walking over to the railings. He looked out into the reddish sunset. Hotohori still faced the other direction, looking down, and feeling rather depressed. He quickly regained his composure and answered calmly as usual, "Oh nothing Nuriko. Thank you for your concern." The purple haired seishi wouldn't stand for that reply. He wanted some sort of reasonable answer. He wanted the truth…even though he already knew it. Miaka had fallen for Tamahome and that was that…nothing could change it. He thought it was so stupid that Miaka had decided not to return the emperor's love…especially after all the sacrifice the man had put himself through. All the maidens of His Majesty's Inner Court were jealous, being that they were ignored continuously through all those years. Even he himself was jealous slightly, but he had gotten over it, well mostly. Nuriko once again remembered his sister and thought how he miserably failed to some little brunette girl from another world. He frowned at having lost his sister, and now his chance at Hotohori. All at once it seemed to him. Just like it seemed to Hotohori. All at once the emperor had also lost Miaka…and to some peasant living in the street. Pathetic. _

_ _

Step away then, from the edge.

Your best friend in life is not your mirror. 

Back away, come, back away, come, back away…

_ _

_It was getting a little colder outside, and the emperor wanted to return to his chambers. He turned slightly and said quietly to Nuriko, "I'm going to go to my chambers, goodnight."__He then bit his lip thinking his tone was too bitter. He quickly apologized and started off to leave…_

_"Wait, Hotohori-sama." Said Nuriko in a sharp, yet still loving voice. He remained at the railings, focused on the fading sunset. A few stars were beginning to shine in the darkening sky. Hotohori stopped and chocked out, "I really must go." _

I am here and I will always be forever and ever and…

I know there's nowhere you can hide it.

I know the feeling of alone. 

Trust me and don't keep that in the inside.

Soon you'll, you'll be blocked out on your own.

You're not alone.

_Then Nuriko turned quickly, reaching out, and carefully but firmly, grabbed the emperor's hand. The daring seishi cried out, "Do you _really_? Sometimes, Your majesty, you have to talk things through…with a friend, with someone-anyone! I have always watched you from a distance, behind bushes and walls, trying to figure out the reason why you stayed alone. And now that I know the reason, you back away…you don't think I don't feel it too, do you? I have devoted myself to you from the moment I first decided to take the place of my sister…but you failed to see me."_

_Hotohori's eyes widened in extreme shock, first looking at Nuriko's grip, then at the seishi; Nuriko's voice was so…so serious. It left him at a loss of words. Nuriko continued, "And even if you don't love me, I will always continue to love you, and care about you…Your Majesty." Hotohori was dumbfounded with Nuriko's confession. All he could say was a soft whisper of the seishi's name…_

_ _

You're not alone.

And don't say it never gets old; I'll be here with you 'till we grow old.

***

From the Author Thanks to everyone who read this! I hope you enjoyed it! I heard the song from the City of Angels Soundtrack (#9) and I thought it fit well for Nuriko and Hotohori. Please, send your comments to [pinky@n-jcenter.com][1] Thanks! 

   [1]: mailto:pinky@n-jcenter.com



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